Ha, Ha! Funny Stories


I love funny stories. These ones are really funny stories I’ve been told about or emailed.

Flight Attendant

One day a flight attendant was having a bad day. He was stuck on a plane with a grumpy woman who couldn’t get her luggage into the cabinet above her, so the flight attendant came over to help. She got mad at him and accidentally ( I think ) let go of the suitcase and the latch cut the attendant below the eye. She ignored him when he tried to help again. A few hours later, the plane landed and was on its way to the docking platform when the woman stood up while the seatbelt sign was still on so she could get off the plane first. The attendant asked her to sit down but she ignored him. Now the attendant had been known to be friendly and he had been a flight attendant for thirty years. But today, he completely lost his temper and went to the intercom so everyone could hear and started to call the woman bad names and words. After a minute, he yelled into the intercom and said, “I’ve had enough of this!” And he grabbed a beer, opened the plane door, which set of the emergency slide, and walked off to his car and drove away. The police caught him of course, and now he is in jail. Too bad, don’t you think? I heard this on the news.

From my friend Ben at www.cakebusters.wordpress.com

Anti-Racist Pilot

A 50- something year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn’t want the seat. The seat was next to a black man. Disgusted, the woman immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The woman said “I cannot sit here next to this black man.” The fight attendant said “Let me see if I can find another seat.” After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated “Ma’am, there are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class.” About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated “The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to make the switch to first class.” Before the woman could say anything, the attendant gestured to the black man and said, “Therefore sir, if you would so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class as the captain doesn’t want you to sit next to an unpleasant person.” Passengers in the seats nearby began to applause while some gave a standing ovation.

This was forwarded to me via email

Donut Shop

There once was a man and he owned a donut shop. The only word he could say was doooooonuutss! And a man walked in and said “What do you have?” (He must not be a very bright person… I mean he just walked into a donut shop.) The owner-let’s call him Frank” said “Dooooooonuutss.!” The customer said “How much do they cost?” “Doooooooonuutss!” said Frank

“No, no, when someone asks “How much do they cost, you say twenty-five cents!” And the customer walked off. The next day, another customer walked in and asked “What do you have?” Frank said “Dooooooonuutss!” ”

“How much do they cost?” asked the customer. “Twenty-Five cents!” said Frank.

“Are they fresh?”

“Dooooooonuutss!” said Frank (as you may have guessed) The customer said “No, no, when someone says ‘Are they fresh?’, you say, ‘Yes, yes, very fresh.” Then he walked off. The next day a customer walked in and asks “What do you have?” Doooooooonuutss!” said Frank

“How much do they cost?”

“Twenty-five cents”

“Are they fresh?” asked the customer. Frank answered, “Yes, yes, very fresh.” The customer asked, “Can I buy one?”

“Dooooooonuutss!” said Frank. “No, no, when someone says ‘Can I buy one’, you say ‘Shoot away, take as many as you like!’” Then the customer left. The next day, a robber comes in and says, “What do you got for me to steal?!”

“Doooooonuutss!”

“How much money’s in the cash register?!”

“Twenty-five cents,” Frank says pridefully. The robber asks, “Is the money fresh?!”

“Yes, yes, very fresh.” “Should I kill you now?!” Asks the robber. Frank says “Shoot away take as many as you like. And you know what happened. :)

From my friend Steph, at www.gamewizz.wordpress.com.

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About CaptainXD

I'm a 17 year old full-time college student, cello player, soda drinker, soccer fanatic.

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